


Don't Say Good-Bye

by Kougaskittybaby



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love, Heartache, Heartbreak, Love, Original Character(s), Sex, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kougaskittybaby/pseuds/Kougaskittybaby
Summary: Kagome left behind her modern life- she just wanted to be with him again- but Inuyasha's inner turmoil causes a rift that seems UN-repairable. After he falls for another woman-she can't go back home- stuck in Feudal Japan is not the worst thing-her friends are still there, so she decides to make the best of it. Kouga catches wind of the odd situation and offers his friendship to the hurt miko. Tag along as Kagome finds peace with her reality and prepares for a new one. But will the ties to her old life interfere?
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome & Kouga
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	1. Back to a New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.
> 
> My OC's are Sinha and Kaya.
> 
> Hello all!  
> This is my first AO3 posting and I am transitioning my work from FF.net.  
> If you have read this story on that site, I encourage you to read through this copy.  
> As I work here I will be making edits to the story to help it flow better. (though it is literally the same plot- just changing the fonts/some verbage/etc.)  
> The posting method here makes it easy to adjust as I go.  
> Though I plan to make my way back to FF.net to sync them up.  
> Please comment any helpful feedback as I have not written anything like this in years.  
> Hoping I can work this ship in my head and give a great story.  
> Excited to be here!
> 
> -KKB

Orange light filled the forest as the afternoon sun sank low in the sky. Kagome walked alongside Inuyasha as he carried her bike over his shoulders.

" **I** **nuyasha, I can handle my bike you know, you don't have to carry it if you don't want to.** "

The half-demon glanced sideways at his dark haired companion.

 **"Never said you couldn't, I'm just trying to be useful for you.."** he replied.

 _"Useful?"_ She asked herself. " _What does he mean useful? He already does most of the heavy lifting anyways, why would he carry my bike for me like this…unless…"_

 **"If I was walking too slow, you should have said something."** She stated sourly. **"I could just as easily make it back to town on my own just fine."** She resumed.

Inuyasha turned to her annoyed. **"Why do you assume I think you're walking too slow?"**

Looking back at him curtly, she opened her mouth but instead he continued.

 **"Also if I was in a rush I would just run there with both you and your bike, Geeze woman."** He finished annoyed.

She paused, not knowing how to answer him. Inuyasha groaned and turned to continue walking. Heaving a deep breath, she followed.  
They neared a clearing and the bone eaters well filtered out of the woods into view. She paused….

  
It had been years since a demon had pulled her down the well… years since the Jewel of Four Souls had shattered…. eventful years... But somehow...somehow she was allowed to come back.  
To finally be with Inuyasha _"What future awaits?"_ she pondered to herself.  
A hollow feeling entering her stomach as she thought about the time that had passed in Feudal Japan since the last time she was here.

She turned to watch the setting sun hide behind the Mountain.

**"Inuyasha.." she called.**

The Hanyou stopped and turned to her. His words caught in his throat when he saw her.  
Surrounded by the suns' rays, her sleek raven black hair shimmering as the wind blew, caressing her soft face.  
A look of sadness crossed her face and Inuyasha reached for her. **"Kagome….."**

They stood there together watching the sun fade behind the mountains. Not saying a word.

Torrents of thoughts began to run through her mind, reminding her of the first time she climbed out of the well… she turned to Inuyasha, remembering when she had discovered him impaled by Kikyos' arrow. She smiled and reached up, startling Inuyasha by rubbing his ears between her fingers.

 **"Hey! Cut that out you!"** he cried in annoyance.

A giggle excaped her- **"** **I'm sorry Inuyasha. I couldn't help myself."  
**She looked at his sour face and began to laugh harder.

Slowly Inuyasha smiled. Seeing her smile tugged at something in him… **"Kagome..."**  
He set down her bike and pulled her into his arms.  
Startled- Kagome looked at Inuyasha's face.  
He was looking down at her.  
In his eyes… she saw something. As he stared into her eyes, neither of them blinked.  
He leaned forward… at the back of his mind a voice called out. _"Inuyasha"_

He promptly let her go and turned around. Kagome felt the sudden change- and a brisk wind blew between them- only adding to the feeling of separation.  
**"Finally!"** he cried. **"I thought we wouldn't get here till after dark!"** He walked away from her.

 **"Inuyasha…"** She moved towards him as she spoke. **"Is something wrong?"**  
**"You can tell me anything you're thinking about."**

He shifted his feet, looking uncomfortable.

 **"Are you maybe thinking about...us?"** she cautiously asked.

 **"What are you talking about?"** he replied.  
Kagome grew silent. **"Inuyasha.. we are not children anymore. We need to talk about things that are happening between us. After everything we have been through- coming back- I just want to know what it means. What I mean to YOU. I think….I think our future together...I think we should give it a chance."**

He continued to stare at her.  
**"I decided to stay here for you. I wanted to see you so badly. I just...want to know that you feel the same."** She finished nervously.

Inuyasha stayed silent.  
Time had passed- To be honest- Inuyasha held a fear that Kagome wouldn't make it back to him.  
As Miroku and Sango started their family his mind plagued him with thoughts of a family.  
Thoughts he had not had since….  
Suddenly he reacted. **"Kagome, what do you want from me? For us to live happily ever after? To forget that you are a human and I am half of that. I'm not a full man and I am not a full demon."**

He turned away from her. **"I can't go through this again."**

Kagome flinched at that reminder. A reminder that there had been someone before.

 **"Have I thought about it? Yes I have. But there are things that just won't work. You're a human. You will die long before I do. Is it really fair to put me through that? To commit to you, only to lose you? I want to...I just wish..."** he trailed off.

She continued to look at Inuyasha. No way to explain that they could get around all of that.  
That she would find a way to be with him. How could she explain that he meant so much to her?  
That she was willing to go through anything to be with him in that way. _"But… is it the same for him?"_ she wondered.

She took a breath, closing down on her emotional thoughts. _"I have to say this calmly- I don't need him running off."_  
She moved closer to him and looked up into his eyes. **"It's okay if you don't feel the same way as I do. I don't want to seem like I am pushing my feelings on you. Please understand I am not trying to do that at all."**

**"I just wanted to make sure that this friendship, was only ever going to be a friendship….so that I would have no regrets with the life I have chosen."**

Inuyasha stared back into her brown eyes… warring inside his mind about telling her the truth.  
How he had planned to beg her to stay, to stay here with him as long as she could.  
He didn't want to lose her, to never see her smile again, or to feel her holding him when he carried her, or to hear her voice yell his name when she was mad… but he couldn't do that again. It wouldn't be fair.

The voice came again- _"Inuyasha"_  
He had been careless with his heart before, and it had almost cost him his life… He couldn't betray himself that way again. Unless he was beyond certain he wanted her… that he loved her.  
The way she loved him. The winds cut off any words she was about to say as a gust pushed past the two bringing them back to reality.  
Darkness had fallen quickly. Although it was only an hour to Kaede's -Inuyasha turned to Kagome. **"Let's rest here for tonight."**

 **"Here?"** she asked glancing at the well. **"That thing gives me the creeps. Just thinking about her bones at the bottom while I sleep…I would never shut my eyes."**

Inuyasha laughed, **"You have nothing to worry about."**  
He looked around, **"Well over this way is the shrine for this well."** He pointed to their right.  
**"We can stay in there. Plus you won't have to worry about the cold either."**

 **"I would not have to worry about the cold if you slept with me."** She stated.  
Caught off guard at her remark, his mouthg gaped open at her. He started walking in the direction of the shrine muttering under his breath. _**"Keh,… women."**_  
Soon after they neared the shrine, he dropped the bike and muttered something about checking the surroundings and wandered away into the dark.

Kagome grabbed her bow and arrows, keeping them close by as she cleared a spot for a fire. Wood was stacked nearby from a previous passerby and soon a small but warm fire was blazing in front of her.  
The shrine was old but new- having been built for her friends who frequented by to wait for her arrival.  
Inuyasha still had not returned, so Kagome went about making herself some food.  
Some cold rice balls alongside some mushroom ramen. As the ramen sat over the fire, she went inside the shrine to lay out her sleeping stuff. The door slid open with ease and the light from the fire filtered in behind her, casting shadows in the small room.  
Caricatured marks lined the walls, prayers long forgotten by those who left them scattered all over.  
She turned her attention to the floor where there was a tatami style mat at her feet. She went to the bag and grabbed her blanket to lay out. She paid quick attention to the ramen, sprinkling a bit of green onion and herbs into the pot before returning to the task at hand.

 _"I'm really gonna miss this stuff"_ she thought to herself.  
In her head she counted stock of the few she had left. _**"Well fresh noodles are better for you"**_ she chided herself.  
It was quick work of the makeshift bed. Really just a pile of blanket and clothes balled together, slightly bunched at the top to for some elevation for her head.  
Inuyasha always slept sitting up, so she knew she didn't have to worry about having room for him.  
Usually, she and Sango shared a spot, but Sango and Miroku had gone on a side trip days ago, to spend time as a family and were probably at the village already.  
She returned to the meal she created and looked around.  
He didn't return to eat so she ate alone.  
She put his dinner on the coals to keep it warm so he could eat when he got back. _"I wonder how long he will be gone…"_

As Inuyasha walked, so many thoughts filled his mind. It had been a while since he last let himself think about Kagome.  
About who she was to him. And now...she was finally back.  
Breathing in the night air, he continued to stare up at the stars as he walked. _"…Inuyasha… we are not children anymore. We need to talk about things…"_  
Her words echoed in his mind. His steps ceased and he looked towards the ground. **"I know… I know we are not children."** He said aloud.  
**"Children don't let things get complicated like this… they don't have these troubles, they just stay ignorant and happy."** He finished.

 _"Pfft that is a lie, and you know it…"_  
Memories of his childhood began to flood his mind, memories of the cruel words children spoke to him, about how… _"NO!"_  
He shook his head.  
_"None of that has to do with Kagome…."_ Another voice from the back of his mind spoke. _"It does, if you have children together."_

Suddenly Inuyasha pictured little feet. He saw her with two children in front of him. Dark hair and gold eyed children. And **SHE** was staring straight at him smiling.  
His heart gave a jolt, jerking him from his thoughts and filling with sad confusion.  
He shook his head… _"Why are you torturing yourself- Kagome is the one here-she came back for you"_  
His feet stopped moving as his mind reeled. _"Could we? Would we even make it that far? Could we have a life together?"_

He grit his teeth. **"I couldn't put them through what I went through, the torment, the hatred…I could never do that to my own. Or see Kagome upset because of it. But…I know how I feel about you…"**

He continued walking, piecing his thoughts together. Trying to make a decision…

 **"Inuyasha! You're back!"** exclaimed Kagome the moment he cleared the trees.

 **"Kagome...What are you still awake for?"** he asked.

 **"I was waiting for you to return, you really had me really worried. I know I dropped a lot on you and I'm sorry."**  
He just looked at her. **"Well you shouldn't have worried."** he said.

She just looked at him. **"I left some food for you. I didn't know if you'd be hungry."** she sighed.  
Turning to the shrine, she skipped the two steps to the porch.  
The door remained open as she took off her shoes and laid down.  
Turning away from the light of the fire- she rested her head on her arm and attempted to sleep.


	2. Feeling around in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagome has returned. This chapter goes over one of their first evenings alone after being reunited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.
> 
> A/N for this chapter- a large part of this chapter is internal monologue- so I will put those in italics. These are the internal thoughts of the characters. Also- I changed my writing style a bit to smooth out the transition between characters. I'm trying to not use their names as much and rely instead on he and she. Please let me know of any other tips! (To be implemented after ch 10, I have 10 chapters written already.) -KKB

Kagome hears Inuyasha sit and begin to eat. Slowing her thoughts- she prepares to get some sleep.

But her thoughts rush back, filling her mind...

_I would not have to worry about the cold if you slept with me._

Blood rushed to her face- and her heart rate sped up.

_Oh my gods! How could I have been so forward!_

Practically screaming at herself-her thoughts continued-

_Geeze girl- talk about an awkward dinner- no wonder he needed some time alone. You basically invited him in with words like that. But...it's not like we weren't TRYING to get him closer… I mean.. Inuyasha so close, I don't think we would get any REAL sleep…_

Involuntarily imagines of Inuyasha- his piercing gold eyes- the way he looked at her earlier- his eyes full of… of what?

Love? Want? What were the golden orbs trying to tell her? ….

His lips slightly parted slowing leaning down.

The energy in her body began to hum.

A warmth spread as her thoughts continued back to their recent adventure- to the point where Inuyasha had shed the top of his Hakama and sweat dripped down his neck….down farther to…

The warm energy began to pool in her stomach- causing her legs to involuntarily clench on themselves.

_Ugh who are you kidding- You KNOW you want him next to you._ Her inner voice teased.

_More to the point- you want HIM to use his hands to explain what his eyes tell us._

The image of Inuyasha and Kikyo flashed across her mind- halting her thoughts.

_Seriously? Why are you thinking about THAT right NOW!_

The image of Kikyo's final moments with Inuyasha came to mind.

The sadness that exuded from Inuyasha as the woman he loved first... died in his arms.

A chill ran through her body- effectively eliminating the warmth she previously felt.

_Has enough time passed for him? Will he be able to accept my feelings without regret? I wish I had been here for him. What if he needed me? I know he must have gone through a lot alone._

Her heart spasm-ed as the thoughts poured over her.

With her chest clenching- her fists involuntarily tightened-her nails biting her palms as the emotional hurt flared through her body.

_It's just not right-it's not fair. How could the world bring so much grief to one person. ESPECIALLY someone so amazing like Inuyasha!_

She could feel the build up of silent tears behind her eyes.

**"Kagome? You ok?"** Inuyasha spoke suddenly.

Her head jerked towards his voice- eyes opening in Surprise.

**"Um- Yea! I'm fine! ...My brain is running wild though… if I'm being honest"** she answered meeting his gaze.

Inuyasha was sitting stiffly near the fire.

**"Uh… what about you? You seem tense?"** she countered. Inuyasha flushed as his ears laid flat against his head.

**"I just wanted to check on you- I noticed you were moving around a lot for someone who is supposed to be sleeping"**

Kagome nodded her head. Turning to the empty spot next to her she patted the pillow. **"Come on- you can help me fall asleep"**

A blush crept across his face, his eyes darting to the spot next to her where her hand lay.

**"I don't mean anything weird haha!"** she giggled.

**"But it really is a tad cold and I am still getting used to not having Sango available for extra warmth, normally Shippo would help- but he went with them to watch the twins"**

He looked over at the smiling Miko.

As the fire danced off her raven locks, she appeared even more beautiful, if possible.

_She really is amazing._ He thought to himself.

Quickly he stood and walked over to where she lay. Hopping the steps on feather light feet and dropping to her side, unsure of how to proceed.

Kagome turned towards him and tugged at his hair pulling him down to the spot next to her. **"Ow! Hey!"** he cried sourly as she giggled, adjusting the single blanket on his form.

**"I told you I'm cold- so hush and be my foot warmer"** she teased.

She snuggled into his chest and gave a huge sigh of contentment as he wrapped his arms around her new yet familiar form.

**"Ahh, let me stay like this and I will be asleep in no time!"** her muffled voice came out.

Inuyasha was tense as she lay wrapped in his arms. His brain shooting off signals to move away-to not get so close.

_You don't want to get too close- they always leave…..NO- not Kagome, she would never leave me. She came back- even when I thought all was lost._

He quickly silenced the negative thoughts.

Finally relaxed, he gave her a light kiss on her forehead, pulling away to looked at her face, a little shocked.

He wasn't sure how long it took him to relax, maybe five minutes?… and she was already ASLEEP!

_Keh…. You're something else Kagome._

He didn't know how long he laid awake listening to her breathing.

Thoughts running a mile a minute through his head.

The forest fell silent- signaling it was deep into the night- and Inuyasha allowed himself to sleep. Curled up next to his Kagome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh it is refreshing to be writing again. But let me tell you- getting the creative juices flowing is turning out to be refreshing and a challenge. Sometimes you get wrapped up in your everyday lives and forget to allow the art to flow.  
> Took me a few days to figure out the next plot points and how I want them to play out. But I hope you follow along and find enjoyment from this story as it unfolds.
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> -KKB


	3. Farewell to the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened when Kagome decided to leave her future time behind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.

The sounds of nature woke Inuyasha- feeling a warm body next to his he smiled and opened his eyes.

Confusion ran across his brain until it all came back in a head spinning rush.

_Kagome…_

His heart skipped a beat and then a spike of guilt washed through him.

Kagome felt the jostle of hair against her face and she wiggled closer- not wanting to fully wake up.

_Five more minutes…_

Reluctantly, she slowly opened her eyes to see golden orbs watching her.

**"Hey"** her soft voice broke the silence.

**"Hey"** he responded.

She turned on her stomach tucking her arms under her head for added support.

**"Thanks for keeping me warm"**

Inuyasha blushed as he moved to sit- legs crossed, careful to keep the warmth from escaping.

**"Do you miss your bed?"**

He asked, startling Kagome.

_What an odd question to start the day._

**_  
_"Hmm….a little bit. But a bed is always replaceable. You weren't"**

Her response came smoothly and he couldn't sense any hesitation from her.

**"That was an odd question"** she stated beginning to stretch and rise to sit across from him.

**"What about your mom? Souta? Or Grandpa?"** he continued.

A look of shock flashed to her face- her eyes dropping to the newly placed ring on her left hand.

**Flash Back*****

She stood at the wells edge- feeling the wind caress her face.

Shock ran through her as she stared down the well- seeing the feudal era at the end of it.

**"Kagome! Are you in here?"** her mother's voice rang out.

The door to the shrine slid open further as her mother walked in behind her. In her hands was an old yellow bag.

A replica to the one she used her last trip through time.

A look of confusion crossed her face as she looked to her mom.

**"Mom… how did you know?"**

Her mom chuckled… **"I can't explain it… but it's a feeling I always got whenever you would come home from your travels. I had a feeling you would be here…"**

**"But mom… I… I don't know what to do…. I don't want to leave you...but-"**

**"Kagome-"** her name fell softly from her mother's lips as she set down the yellow bag.

**"Sometimes, you have to listen to your heart.**

**We _love_ you- and we will be okay.**

**Because if you go- I know you will be with people you love- and someone who will protect you.**

**It may not be the life I imagined you would have- but it would be full of the love you deserve….and… I can live with that.**

**Knowing you would be happy"**

Tears formed in her moms eyes as she finished speaking.

Kagome quickly closed the gap between them, running to her mother's arms- tears in her eyes.

**"Oh mom!"**

_My last hug…_.

Reluctantly she pulled away- her mother wiping tears…

**"Here- wipe your tears- Souta won't be home for a while- but we can record a video for him"**

She held up her phone.

**"I would ask you to wait but… I have a feeling we don't have the luxury of waiting"** she glanced over at the well.

Kagome's heart raced at the realization of her decision.

**"Mom...I'm… happy, and sad to go. I hope Souta can forgive me for leaving without physically saying goodbye."**

She jumped as Buyo unexpectedly rubbed against her legs.

Picking up the cat her mother started recording and Kagome bid her brother farewell.

As she swung her leg over the edge her mother remembered some final items.

**"Take this bike- I know it's an old habit, and Kagome- take this-"** her mother removed her wedding band- with a single diamond in the center-sandwiched between two sapphires.

**"Something to remember both your father and me"**

Slipping it onto her finger, it fit perfectly.

Tears welled up as Kagome lowered the bike before her, dropping it-paying it no heed as it fell before her.

She turned to her mother who was next to her at the wells edge.

Wrapping her arms around her mother- she felt so much strength in her mothers grasp.

**"I love you Kagome."** she spoke clear and firm.

She let go of her daughter for the last time.

**"Good-bye mom"** Kagome said- her voice cracking.

**"Don't say good-bye"** her mother responded. **"Say, I'll see you next time!"** her voice went up in pitch as her mother gave her a teary smile.

Kagome looked at her mother, and pushed away from the edge- as she fell down she glanced up seeing her mother's face peer from the edge as a purple haze filled her vision- until a clear sky was above her-with a silence hitting her ears- signaling she was back... where Inuyasha awaited.

**end flash bac** **k****

She took a breath steadying herself from the memory. The fear of never seeing her family again was definitely fresh in her mind. It has only been a few months since she came back.

" **When you grow up- your expected to start a life-move out-and build a life for yourself."** she began to answer.

**"When the well closed up three years ago.. I did my best to get back into the life I had. With my friends-finishing school- and looking towards the future"**

She paused.

**"Well, to be honest, I was struggling with that last part. I just couldn't see a future without the people I care about in it.**

**I wasn't sure what direction to go- I was so lost after I graduated. I had all this time to think about how much I missed you all… how much I missed you."**

Warmth spread to her cheeks as she spoke.

**"I thought of you and everyone else every day I was away.**

**Wondering what you guys were up to- how the weather was during the winters-thinking back on the long walks we had between villages- just talking...nothing in my time could replace you guys.**

**And I missed everyone so much every day, and it only got worse when I had more time to think on it."**

**"In a way, I had already started my life here with everyone. It was a part of me- and I think… the well opening up- was my last opportunity to come back and live in the life I had built.**

**I was sad and scared to leave, but my mom was there and she knew even before I did what was going to happen."**

**"I am definitely going to miss her. She always knew what I needed before I did"** Her hand shot up to her eyes to wipe the tears.

Inuyasha raised his hands to comfort her, pulling her to him.

**"I'm sorry Kagome- I didn't mean for you to choose me over your family.. I-"**

He was cut short as she laughed.

**"Inuyasha- I love you, but I also love Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kohaku, everyone I know here, is a part of my life."**

**"My family understands that I made a life here, and they will love me no matter what I chose, but I had a chance to be happy.**

**Here with you and everyone else. So I took it."**

She pulled back to look at him, tears now drying on her cheeks.

**"I am here because I chose to come back for you AND everyone else I love."**

She smiled beautifully at him, the morning sun coming in through the door giving her a glow that seemed to only happen when he looked at her.

**"And I would choose it again. Every Time. So don't worry- like I said the yesterday, even if this never moves past friendship, I am where I am meant to be."**

His heart sped up as she spoke.

Her eyes captured his and before he knew what he was doing, he moved forward capturing her chin in his hand.. and placed a kiss on her full lips.

Hearing a small gasp of surprise from Kagome, before she leaned into his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck, deepening the embrace.

As their lips parted she looked up at him. Joy radiating from her body in a way that only happened when he held her like this.

**"I am where I am meant to be, and I can't wait to start my life."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Thoughts so far :p Has anyone caught on to Inuyasha's mysterious thoughts? Can you imagine leaving your family behind for the life Kagome describes? Oooo can't wait to share more with you!
> 
> -KKB


	4. I Know Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kagome was quickly returned to her time- Inuyasha faces the reality of what has happened in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.

The sun rose higher in the sky as the wind whistled through the trees.

All together it was going to be a beautiful day and Kagome was in high spirits.

_That was a nice way to start the morning…_

She thought back to the kiss she and Inuyasha shared a moment ago.

_Now if only we could see how much control he is willing to give up..._

Her thoughts continued.

Inuyasha heard a giggle come from his dark haired companion.

**"Oi- what's gotten into you?"** he chimed as he swept dirt over the embers leftover from the fire.

She turned and smiled at him and he paused.

Her smile was so bright- with her eyes sparkling with knowing. His ears twitched as he felt blood rush to his face. He closed his eyes and drew a clawed finger across his temple, itching an imaginary scratch.

Turning around he looked to the sky and took a breath as he re-opened his eyes.

_Geeze, didn't think a kiss would make her THAT happy._

The pair gathered their items and along with Kagome's bike- continued their walk to the village.

**"Inuyasha-"** she began shortly after they started walking.

**"I meant what I said about being glad to be home, but I didn't get a chance to apologize."** Her eyes peered at him as they walked ahead.

He stopped walking.

**"Apologize?! For WHAT!"** he cried out. **"What could you possibly have to be sorry for? We didn't have a choice that the well closed off!"**

She took a few more steps before stopping. Still looking ahead she spoke-

**"I'm sorry I wasn't here...when you needed someone to talk to. Someone to be here as you processed Kikyo's death."**

She continued looking ahead, giving him a moment to gather his thoughts.

His golden eyes turned a deep amber as his thoughts turned to Kikyo.

He clenched his hand around the metal of Kagome's bike. He could feel the metal bend like paper. His body clenched and his heart skipped a few beats as the breathe he had-was pulled from his lungs.

He quickly recovered, and released his grip on her bike. He took a deep breathe before looking forward to Kagome.

She finally turned having heard him release his breath. He looked into her eyes.

**"I wasn't able to be here, and I am sorry"** she continued.

Their eyes locked as no words passed between them for a moment. His mind flashed back to her words from the day before.

_Inuyasha.. we are not children anymore. We need to talk about things that are happening between us._

**"We are not children"** he spoke.

She peered up at him and took a few steps towards him.

**"No, we are not. So please, tell me if you need to talk. I'm here and… I understand"**

He let out another breath and looked around, time presenting itself as a lone bird flew past, chasing it's breakfast.

**"Well...um...it was hard."** He averted his gaze briefly before returning to her caring eyes.

**"I don't know what I would have done if I had been alone all that time. I feel like a part of me would have been lost."**

Kagome smiled.

**"I'm glad you at least had Sango and Miroku with you."**

He looked at her-confused, before catching himself.

**"Ah- Um… well…"** he looked into her eyes again.

_Inuyasha_

The voice in his mind called to him.

He turned his face away.

**"Um… Yea. Yea it's good to have them"** he finished.

She grabbed his hand, entwining her fingers with his. He looked down at their hands. Feeling a familiar prickle of guilt fill the back of his mind.

She turned tugging at his hand-continuing their walk.

They continued along listening to the sounds around them.

Kagome was content to let his mind wander, squeezing his hand to remind him she was there if he wanted or needed to say anything else on the matter.

They continued to walk as his face fell to the ground- thinking back to the first night without Kagome.

*********** Flash Back **************

**"Kagome!"** Inuyasha continued to shout at the bottom of the well.

_What the HELL was that! Why can't I get through!_

His thoughts ran crazy as he lept out and in over and over- not believing how quickly the well closed.

_I thought we had more time…_

_Kagome…._

He dug his claws into the dirt at the bottom of the well, vying to get back to her, to see her face, hear her voice.

Desperation gave in to grief and he stilled, his hands balling into fists. He pressed his forehead against the dirt.

**"Please….I need you..."** the words broke from his mouth as the tears fell openly from his face.

If any strong demon had been left in the area, Inuyasha would have been a sorry sight that day. Huddled at the bottom of the well, he finally composed himself as the moon rose above.

Climbing to the edge of the well, he sat against the wooden fixture and his mind opened up to all the pain he kept hidden.

_How come I keep getting left behind...they always leave…._

Inuyasha shuddered as he contemplated the sad thoughts that over came him that night.

The only thought keeping him going, was that he knew Kagome would do everything she could to come back to him.

_She hasn't abandoned you- I believe in her- I know…. I know she will make it back…._ _Besides, this has happened before.._

He thought to the one time before when Kagome had been trapped on the other side of the well. Years before, when they really weren't sure if she could make it back.

**"We are still connected"**

He stood then, and headed for the one place he could feel close to her….the sacred tree.

Winding through the trees, he found his feet knew the way without his mind having to focus.

He stilled at the base of the tree, feeling for her presence.. waiting for some prickle of feeling.

He didn't know how long he stood there, silent, barely breathing. Something moved off in the woods to his right and it snapped him out of his trance.

He turned and found that a deer was the cause for the noise. Smelling, rather than seeing, from the direction the sound emanated from.

He sighed and moved to sit at the base of the tree. The large roots creating a semi-enclosure around his form, hiding him from immediate site in the dark.

_What now…._ He asked himself.

Leaning his head back he looked to the canopy of the sacred tree, hoping for some sort of answer. The stars dotted through the canopy, their light floating above.

_Just like soul collectors…._

He stilled at the sudden thought. His mind half expected to hear some sign of Kikyo approaching at the visual reminder.

And then, reality hit.

He felt as if the wind had been sucked out of his lungs.

The darkness covered his sight as he balled in on himself.

He couldn't breathe…. His hands flew up to the sides of his face, wrapping into his hair clenching so hard he broke skin.

His body instinctively curled in on itself as the grief of his loss hit him full force.

_No…..Kikyo….I'm sorry… I'm Sorry… I'm.._

His mind flooded with her final words to him as he held her in his arms.

_I couldn't save you!_

His body finally gave in to the demand for air and in return Inuyasha let out a horrible cry as the tears fell. He knew no body was around to hear his painful cries, and while he was thankful, a part of him cried even more at the loss of his companions.

He raked his claws down his face in anger at himself, turning his fists on himself-he beat against his head as the grief swallowed him.

Time passed as he let out all the bottled up sadness. A silent numbness taking hold as the sky began to lighten. He sat, legs extended, arms at his side, palms face up in surrender.

The only evidence of the turmoil was his tousled hair, and dry traces of his tears. His scratched having long ago healed.

He sat there, not sleeping, not focusing. Just existing. Breathing.

A butterfly passed and he finally focused and followed it's path with his eyes. As it spiraled through the air he slowly moved his head as it rounded the roots of the tree and he saw _her._

She stood next to a berry bush. Curiosity in her Hazel eyes at the sitting Hanyou in front of her.

He took a deep breath, shaking himself from the still position he was in.

She jumped.

**"Oh! Hello…."** her voice broke the silence.

**"Sorry- I…. I wasn't sure if you were alive, you were so still"** she stammered.

Inuyasha moved to stand, grimacing at the ache in his haunches. His muscles complaining at the sudden movement.

He quickly rubbed his hands over his face and crossed his arms.

**"Well I'm not dead."** was his only response.

The girl took a few steps forward coming around the brush.

**"Um… silly question….hoping for a good answer...but… you're not dangerous are you?"** she clasped her hands in front of her, standing straight.

The space between them became the playground of the butterfly from earlier as silence filled the air.

She shifted her weight-and patted the sides of her kimono as she realized he might not answer.

**"Um… well…. I'm just traveling, and uh… I'll be on my way if you're okay."**

She began to walk towards the sacred tree.

**"What do you mean If I'm _Okay?"_** His voice caught her off guard.

She stopped and smiled, her tan skin emphasizing her bright smile.

**"Um. Well, you seem down. I came across you a while ago...and when I realized you weren't moving, I thought you were dead…since you didn't acknowledge my presence, um but then I saw you breathing...and-"**

**"Exactly how long were you watching me?"** he cut her off with his question.

**"Um… long enough to recognize you've lost somebody."** she responded.

**"I know loss. Well most people do. But… I'm not the type of person to ignore things like that. But you were so still, I just wasn't sure if I should… plus.. don't you normally have friends around?"**

Her comment startled Inuyasha.

**"Normally you travel with the fire cat and the monk and demon slayer. Although, you haven't passed through my village this year"** she continued.

**"You've seen us then?"** He asked.

**"Yea, it's hard not to watch for other half-demons when they venture to the village. I live about a half days' journey from here. I've seen you and your friends a few times."**

**"A half demon?"** he asked.

The words coming out harsher than he intended.

She straightened her stance.

**"Yes, a half demon. Just like you."** she said strongly.

It was then he saw the flicker of a tail behind her, and upon closer look her hands had well kept claws.

**"My mother was a fox demon, and my father was human. My father has long since passed away. But my mother….well… maybe you can meet her."** she smiled.

**"Why would I want to do that?"** he remarked, his ears twitching.

**"And why are you talking so much?"** he continued. Irritation lacing his voice.

She walked closer. **"Like I said, I'm not one to ignore these things. And since you don't pose a danger to me, I don't see a reason we can't talk. It's rare to come across other half demons.**

**If your not doing anything, do you want to come spend some time at my village? Sometimes distancing yourself from a place of loss can help the mind clear itself."**

She paused waiting for his response.

**"What's your name anyways?"** he asked.

**"My name is Sinha"** she responded. **"Nice to meet you."**

*********** End Flash Back *****************

Inuyasha often glances at their entwined finger as the path through the forest gets more and more familiar.

Kagome had begun sharing about some of the things she had accomplished in her time, aside from missing everyone.

While she was talking about something to do with graduation they rounded a curve and Inuyasha's ears twitched.

**"OI! Miroku!"** he called out. Waving his arms.

Up ahead the monk and demon slayer were casually sitting while the little ones ran in the meadow.

Kagome turned her attention to the group ahead.

**"Sango! Shippo!"** she exclaimed as she took off running.

Passing her infant son to Miroku, Sango stood and jogged the remaining distance to hug Kagome.

The two friends beaming at each other.

**"Ahhh give me the baby! Gimme Gimme!"** Kagome cried out as Miroku approached.

**"Kagome!"** the little Kitsune cried out. **"Yay you're back at the same time as us!"** he hopped up and down in excitement.

Kagome turned to Shippo and he jumped into her arms.

**"I think your hands are full"** Miroku chuckled as the kitsune nuzzled their Miko friend. Kagome playfully glared at him.

**"Oh I'll get my hands on him soon enough"** she joked as she eyed their son.

Laughter began to fill the afternoon air.

**"Well the gangs all here."** Inuyasha remarked as he placed their things next to the blanket on the ground.

**"We just stopped for lunch, since we are almost home we decided just to enjoy the afternoon before we get back to our responsibilities."** Sango mused.

**"Hey I can eat."** Inuyasha retorted.

The group settled down to eat.. the two girls talking away as Miroku and Inuyasha played with the kids.

Kagome looked over their group as she unpacked their food. She smiled as she took in the scene before her.

_Yes, I made the right choice. I'm home._


	5. Instincts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First hints of intimacy, when the instincts take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.
> 
> A/N- thanks for sticking by me! The first hint of a lemon scene drops in this chapter. I marked the section with asterisks (***) so you can avoid if needed.
> 
> -KKB

Sango and Kagome fell behind as Inuyasha and Miroku corralled the children for the remaining walk home. The two keeping an eye on them from a distance.

Kagome walked proudly next to her demon slayer friend.

**"Sango- I feel like we haven't had ANY time to ourselves since I've gotten back. Not from the kids, you know I love them, just no time away from our boys"** she giggled.

Sangos crisp laugh filled her ears as her best friend threw out her agreement.

**"It's like they don't want us talking haha".**

As the two looked ahead Inuyasha's ears perked back.

**"See- someone is eavesdropping…"** Kagome pointedly proclaimed.

At that moment the twins began a game of tag, their screams filling the air.

Kagome slowed her pace, Sango following her lead, dropping further back to allow them privacy while talking.

**"Sango- I have been meaning to thank you and Miroku"**

A look of surprise filled her friends soft face.

**"For what Kagome?"**

**"I was talking to Inuyasha earlier today- about how guilty I felt not being here for him when the well closed off...in regards to Kikyo's passing."** Kagome began.

Her steps continued to lag.

**"Kagome, you had no choice, besides, he turned out ok."** Sango responded.

**"And that is why I owe you my thanks. I know you and Miroku started your lives together, but since you made sure to include Inuyasha in the process, he was able to get through the rough times.**

**I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been there."** She finished.

Sango's footsteps faltered.

**"Kagome…."** she began…. Her voice dropped lower.

**"Kagome, I wasn't the one who helped him."** she whispered.

Kagome looked quizzically at her friend.

Sango peeked ahead and signaled for Kagome to lean in.

**"Look- Inuyasha basically left the village up until you came back. He would check in and stay a few days at a time, but you know I was never the one he talked to. It was always Miroku. I used to ask him about it, but he asked me to allow privacy on Inuyasha's part."**

She spoke quickly before someone could listen in.

**"What do you mean?"** Kagome asked.

Sango shrugged.

**"Honestly- I never got around to finding out what he was up to- I got a little busy when the twins were born, I'm sorry I don't have more information.**

**But- I think Miroku was the one he leaned on.**

**Then one day he showed up with you on his arm, and he hasn't left since.**

**Oh- except the week he went with Miroku to the next village for an errand. Not that I'm complaining. It feels like normal having everyone around like before."**

Sango motioned for them to keep walking. A voice of inquiry perused Kagome's thoughts as they walked across the creek, noting the sun was riding low in the sky.

**"So Miroku huh? Those two can get into trouble, but their friendship gets them out of it."**

Kagome sighed as they reached Sango and Miroku's home.

The twins each hanging off Inuyasha.

**"Oi- enough already- get offa me!"**

Shaking slightly the girls giggled as they fell loose.

**"See you tomorrow Monk, see you Sango."** he nodded at the couple.

They both smiled and simultaneously responded with their good-byes.

As the hanyou turned Kagome couldn't help but admire him from behind as his billowing hair reflected the evening sun, the sharp red in his fire rat robe giving him an almost ethereal look.

A warm buzz of energy passed over her skin as she continued to follow him in silence.

Inuyasha's nose twitched-

_That smell...is she…_

It took a moment for her mind to notice that they weren't headed towards Kaede's home, but away from the village into an open hillside.

Her curiosity peaked as they continued walking away from the village folk.

Curious- but not wanting to break the silence, she continued to follow.

**"So- Kagome."** his voice broke the silence.

**"Now that we have nowhere to go, what are your plans? You gonna become a priestess?"**

**"mm-yes, I might as well pick up where I left off..though I'll probably need a refresher."** she joked.

**"What have the demon attacks been like since I left?"**

He turned towards her- **"Nothing too bad, Miroku and I have been able to handle anything big that came our way."**

She nodded as she thought over his words.

**"Keh- as long as you can still shoot an arrow- demons don't stand a chance"** he smirked at her.

She drew back in fake hurt. **"Of course I can still shoot my bow! I did it just yesterday!"**

Inuyasha smiled at her. **"Well it's a good thing you've got me to protect you."**

Kagome stepped closer to him. His arms floating around her, encasing her in his protective arms.

A warmth spread to her toes as he leaned in and kissed her.

His lips feather light on hers, then, building in pressure, as if asking permission.

His kiss bringing forth the heated emotions of the morning past.

He breaks their kiss, golden orbs staring into her.

_She is who I am supposed to be with...she needs me to protect her…_ his thought justify in his head.

Shadows stretch as the sun moves further across the sky-peaking over the mountains as darkness begins to fall.

A chill ran across Kagome as the wind gently blew. Neither of them moving or speaking a word.

As she decides to move away, he pulls her close to him, crushing her to his chest- falling backwards and taking her with him.

She shrieked softly as they fell.

Her breath pushed out as he rolls her into the grass a few times ending with him on top of her.

The grass swayed above them, tall enough to enclose the two in their own private world, away from the eyes of the villagers..

_If any were even over here.._

She thought to herself.

*****************Lemon Warning- Adult content in the next section (Skip to next asterisk line to skip content)******************************************

A blush splayed across her face as he looked up at her gorgeous Hanyou.

He dipped low, breathing into the curve of her neck, hairs prickling as the warm breath hit her skin.

Her body jolted- heat pooling between her thighs, mimicking an earlier reaction from viewing his back-side in the setting sun.

Her spicy scent filled his mind.

_Heh… so it was…._

He smiled to himself.

Her hands began running themselves through his hair and he ran his tongue over the dip in her shoulder, pulling aside the white fabric.

Her name spilled from his mouth, a huskiness she'd never heard before lacing his voice.

Looking into his eyes-she saw an unfamiliar glow.

_He wants to eat me!_ She slightly stiffened at the image.

She smiled...

_Well… he wants to do something of the sort.._

She moved her hand to dip inside of the cloth covering his chest, warm taught skin meeting her touch.

Shivers of anticipation filled them both.

**"Kagome…"** he spoke again, covering her lips in a kiss, prodding her mouth to open.

He moved to massage her breast, eliciting a gasp from her lips, granting him the access he'd been requesting.

Wasting no time, his tongue dove into her mouth eliciting a moan from her in response.

Her thighs pressed together, but to her surprise Inuyasha's leg was pressed between them- preventing her relief.

His hand still massaging her breast as he kissed her.

Her mind was going blank, she was responding to him out of instinct, but a part of her was terrified at the realization of what was happening. Jumping with each new touch.

His hand left her breast as his kiss slid to her neck, his hand gliding down her side resting on her hip- a clawed hand pressing into her lightly.

Her mind continued to race, though everything felt slow. Her body was reacting to his touch and gods did it warm her all over.

_Oh my god! This is everything I thought it would be!_

She smiled into his hair as he gently nipped at her neck pulling her hip flush to his- grinding against her.

She moaned again, feeling a bulge pressed up against her. He dropped her hip and pulled her back towards him, grinding her against him once again, his claws pressing into her.

His hand moved to untie her robes, swift fingers moving faster than she'd imagined.

A slight chill hitting her chest.

He sat back taking her into his view. A hunger filling his eyes.

She moved to cover herself and he grabbed her hand in response.

**"Please- I like the view"** he smirked down at her.

Kagome wasn't sure if her face could turn any redder. She nodded slowly and lowered her hand, resting on her stomach. He looked down at her for a moment not moving.

_Gods her body is beautiful…_ he admired.

White skin splayed across her supple breasts with tan nipples peaking up in their release from the fabric.

He moved to touch them- to see if they felt as soft as they looked, and a flash of sun kissed skin and hazel eyes blocked his vision momentarily.

He paused-

Kagome felt him stiffen above her- his hand pausing mid air.

She waited, yearning for his touch- but unsure of how to ask for it.

He stilled above her, and she noticed the fire from his gaze had disappeared.

**"Inuyasha…?"** her questioning gaze landed on his as the question fell from her mouth.

His eyes snapped to hers, a blush creeping over his face. He leaned down and kissed her. Covering her back up as he did so.

**"We should probably head back before other creatures start to roam."** he said, tying her robes.

Confusion laced her mind as he pulled away from her.

She sat up in confusion- **"Inuyasha… is everything ok?"**

He stood and leaned to help her up.

**"Heh- I'm fine… but…. I can't let my instincts get the best of me again."**

**"Again?"** she looked at him.

He stiffened.

**"Um yea..like this morning… I'm not good at holding back with you.."** he muttered.

She nodded.

After adjusting her ties, she turned to him and placed a kiss on his lips.

**"For the record- I didn't ask you to stop."**

His jerked response elicited a smile from the Miko as she turned back towards the village.

_No WAY would I ask you to stop…_

_He's being so weird….I need to find out what's wrong._ her thought continued.

He shook off her comment and stepped briskly to follow her.

Only glancing to the west for a moment as the final rays of the sun ducked behind the mountains.

**************(end lemon) *************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-
> 
> SO! how was the mini lemon sesh? I adore inu x kag stories, but as my username states, Kouga is my main OTP.
> 
> So don't fret! Our wolf will be making his appearance in a chapter or two!
> 
> Let me know if you're enjoying my story, it keeps me motivated to write!
> 
> -KKB


	6. Sinha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little look at who has occupied time with Inuyasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.
> 
> My OC's are Sinha and Kaya.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter, just turmoil. :p
> 
> -KKB

_Suddenly Inuyasha pictured little feet. He saw her with two children in front of him. Dark hair and gold eyed children. And SHE was staring straight at him smiling._

A low growl of frustration filled the night sky-as Inuyasha recalled his thoughts from just a day ago, and now- the sudden invasion on his mind just when things were getting serious with Kagome.

_\- a flash of sun kissed skin and hazel eyes -_

He shook his head clear of the picture. His ears flattened as he rubbed his head in frustration.

_I owe her- I can't just leave her behind for someone I met after she left….she loves me, she is only here because of ME. And I love her. Kagome has given me so much...I do.. I love her._

His train of thought tormenting him. His ears remained flat as his mind turned to the Hanyou who had recently entered his life. Well, it really wasn't that much time for the two-realistically. Time just moved differently for half-demons.

_Sinha….._

**~~~~~~~~~~~Flash Back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

The day was annoyingly warm as Sinha was washing clothes in front of her home.

Inuyasha sitting idly by waiting to help her hang the cloth after if needed.

She beat the cloth and scrubbed thoroughly, making sure to focus on the grass stains embedded in the pink flowers.

 **"I hope the stain comes out- I really love this print you know."** she announced pointedly.

A flush ran across Inuyasha's face.

**"I said I was sorry-I just got a bit carried away"**

Thinking back to their morning together, a smile crossed her lips. The specific details of HOW the cloth got stained warmed her heart.

 **"Besides, you needed to wash it anyway- it smelled rough"** he continued- a hint of playfulness filling his voice.

Sinha jolted at the comment.

 **"I thought you LIKE the way I smell"** she chided throwing a hand of soap-filled water at him.

Inuyasha dodged the spray and sprung behind the Hanyou- wrapping his arms over hers.

The move efficiently prevented her from soaking him through.

Inuyasha laughed- burying his face into her neck- **"Oh it isn't so bad when I'm close…"** he teased.

Sinha giggled as she leaned into him.

**"Not so bad? Hmm… what would make it better?"** she joked.

Inuyasha smiled into her hair.

**"I was just kidding Sinha- I love the way you smell. I could remember it forever."**

She turned and gave him a playful smile.

**"Careful Inuyasha- Don't tell me things like that if you're not gonna commit to me. I might fall for you."**

He paused- a pout filling his lips.

 **"Besides- we both know your waiting for your friend to come back. Kagome right?"** she continued.

His heart jumped upon hearing her name.

There wasn't anything he couldn't tell her. Sinha knew everything about him. The past year and a half had been filled with him telling her stories of his life. Sprinkled with stories of her own. The fox-demon bringing light into his life when he was in a dark place.

Having just lost Kikyo and then Kagome returning to her own time, Inuyasha had no one to turn to. And out of nowhere- Sinha had appeared.

After spending time together- he learned that apparently- she had always been there. Stories from her life matching up with the time-line of the gang. She noticed him first- a few years ago- when the Band of Seven briefly roamed the lands again. She herself leading Mukotsu away from her village promising to wed the fool before slipping away and running home.

On her way home she avoided the Hanyou as he raced through the forest. Wanting to avoid further conflict that day. But soon after she saw him again- accompanied by most notably a young fox demon and a strangely dressed miko when they passed through her village. After that- she kept tabs on them each time they passed through- sometimes all together- sometimes not. Until she ran across him alone in the forest looking lost.

The rest is history- their friendship took off as Inuyasha stuck around.

Stories of his childhood-finding solace in her shared experiences, from tormenting memories to fond ones with their human parents.

**"Sinha! Where's the wash tub!"** a voice suddenly yelled from inside the home.

As well as memories of her very much alive mother.

His ears twitched as Sinha's mother suddenly appeared.

_Kaya._

She was a Beautiful Fox demon from the north- Shiny Brown hair that shimmered as she walked-with a long brown-red tail trailing behind her- Bright green eyes full of laughter and knowledge- and a smile that instantly made you feel at ease. She too had sun-kissed skin that she passed to her daughter.

Though human in appearance- her tail was the only real pointer to her Demon Identity.

Inuyasha really enjoyed Kaya's company- she never judged him-didn't particularly care for wolves-and kept him on his toes with her uncommon banter.

 **"Ah- what are you washing? Want me to take care of this? I'm tired of being inside…"** her mother began, not even blinking at the pairs close contact.

Sinha began to move away-his hold reluctant to let go.

**"Okay mom- you can take over if you like. I'll just start on lunch.."**

**"Oh that's okay baby- I made some vegetable and meat skewers already. I know at least Inuyasha smelled it."**

She looked pointedly at him now.

**"Or was all that sniffing I heard you smelling up on my daughter"**

Inuyasha's face exploded with color.

Sinha's laughter filled the air as she watched the pair, a slight hue of pink filling her cheeks realizing she too hadn't smelled her mothers cooking at all.

 **"Ah mother- you sure love to tease him."** she nudged her mom- eyes gleaming.

 **"Oh come now- I'm just giving you a hard time Inuyasha- you know that."** Kaya teased.

Sinha went to grab the food as her mother and Inuyasha worked the laundry.

He watched her trail inside- and kept tabs on her scent when she wasn't in sights. A habit he picked up on whenever he would leave to spend time with Miroku and Sango. Smelling for her until he was too far to smell her without the winds help.

He never stayed long- mostly he spent his time with Miroku on the short trips- feeling a brotherly bond with the Monk more than with his half brother Sesshomaru. Also a reluctant fear of the demon slayer if she were to find out his whereabouts. Considering her friendship with Kagome.

Not that there is anything to be guilty of… inner thoughts ranted.

They talked about Sinha- Kagome-and everything else that was weird and complicated.

But Kagome would return one day, and Inuyasha had told Sinha everything, so she knew they couldn't get too serious.

 _I always do that huh…_ he thought to himself briefly.

Well- Sinha made sure to remind him of his commitment to Kagome. Often he found himself forgetting that big detail when around her.

Often following his instincts instead of using his head. Which was how her floral print kimono had gotten into it's stained predicament currently. A soft smile forming as he thought about their morning together.

_Crap…_

_How am I going to keep my promise to Kagome if I stay here…._

But the thought of leaving didn't appeal to him either. There is a level of comfort here- like he fit in…

_This is going to be complicated..._

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flash Back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Kagome stirred the coals of the fire- knowing Inuyasha hadn't come inside yet bothered her a bit.

He is thinking about something…

She just knew something was eating at her friend. Time had passed since they last spent this much time together, and yes, they both changed a lot- but- some things stayed the same. Like how he would stay away alone when he was thinking about serious things.

She thought back to the small intimate moment they shared earlier- blushing at the realization he had looked at her naked torso. This time without having to pull away. She hadn't seen a gaze like that in a long time.

The only other person who ever looked at her like that was…...well…. Was Kouga. And only when he thought she wasn't looking. That look of hunger- like she was something to be devoured….

Warmth spread through her- while a shiver ran down her spine.

Striking blue eyes filling her mind.

_I wonder what he is up to….he's the only one I haven't seen….and I have been too scared of Inuyasha's reaction if I ask him._

_I could always ask Sango..._

Her thoughts turned to the pack leader. Her heart beating anxiously at the realization of how little information she had about their demon friend since her return. It was literally zero.

_Ahh…. Being an adult can be fun…_ she joked to herself.

 **"Welp- I guess I'm off to sleep"** she said mostly to herself than to anyone in particular.

_We can try again tomorrow Kagome…_

Her final thoughts a stark contrast from Inuyasha's as the moon continued to rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! What do you think? Sorry it's a short chapter. I like to get all of the content related to a scene on one page. I leave small cliff hangers- well- at least small for now mwahahaha.
> 
> Sinha and Kaya warm my heart. And Inuyasha is driving the Struggle Bus at this point with his heart and head being mixed up. Poor Yash! Don't worry- he will figure it out soon. To Kagome's dismay.. but hey- I told you I was vamping up to bring our man around.
> 
> Stay tuned to see how their relationship turns! Please leave a review 3
> 
> -KKB


	7. Be Honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The turmoil begins. How will Kagome react to the news that she is no longer the one.  
> Inuyasha gets honest with his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.
> 
> A/N: Please note there will be a scene in this chapter that goes back and forth between spoken words and inner thoughts. I have done my best to identify the difference by italicizing Kagome's inner thoughts. Speed readers- take you time haha. I hope you enjoy this emotional chapter.

Kagome ran her hands over the soft bed she had been using ever since her return. As she is about to turn in for the night she hears him. He doesn't come inside, and her curiosity wins over a need to sleep.

She walks out into the moonlit night and scours the area- landing on white hair illuminated by the moon.

He was up on the roof- staring down at her. Kagome smiled and jerked her head in the direction away from Kaede's and began walking.

The cool night unforgiving as she runs her arms over themselves for warmth. Footsteps approach and suddenly he is walking alongside her.

After a few meters he breaks the silence.

**"What are you still up for?"**

**"You know I have trouble sleeping when you're sulking around alone."** a light smile reaching her eyes as she spoke.

He nodded- and turned their path towards the lower field, where the wind would lessen.

_I need to tell her… I don't want to keep hurting her…_ thoughts swirled in his head.

Inuyasha paused and she turned to look at her friend.

**"Kagome- do you know what it means to be mated to a youkai?"**

Her mind blanked for a moment. She had been expecting a serious talk.. but not THIS.

A blush filled her face, and her heart rate increased. Sleep? Who is sleep? She could run a marathon with how awake she felt at this very moment.

 **"Um… I mean- I know you mate for life- and demons of the same species have special bonds or sometimes gain special powers once mated-"** she began to spout the knowledge she learned from their demon slayer friend.

Inuyasha nods- **"The biggest part is the bond that is formed, once you are mated- you don't choose another mate- not even after your mate dies. You're left without your other half- and depending on the species- it may even kill them to lose their mate."**

Kagome takes in the information- _So if a demon mates a human….where does that leave them after the human dies?_

He can see questions forming in her head and he continues-

**"Choosing a mate is a final decision where there can be zero hesitation with either mate. You have to only want me, and I you."**

She looks at him- peering into his warm amber eyes. Her mind cleared at the realization of his words.

**"Oh Inuyasha- is that what was worrying you?**

**I only want you.**

**I know you might think I've changed in the time that has passed, but my feelings for you haven't.**

**I know I may need to learn about a mating bond- but Sango can always help us. Please don't think I have second thoughts about this at all."**

Suddenly his hesitation from before was making sense.

_He is always protecting me- even from possibly making a mistake… He really is the best..._

**"Kagome…."** his voice interrupts.

**"I have to only want you…...but…"**

Her breath hitched in her throat.

_But…. What do you mean BUT!_

The word fell to her ears, her brain barely registering the sudden change before he continued.

**"But….I can't do this to you again… I…. there's this girl….well this hanyou that I met…"**

_What? He can't do this to me again?_ Her brain twists the words over and over- Images of Kikyo playing in her mind.

 _Wait…. A hanyou?_ Her head jerks and her arm comes up in front of her, protecting her heart.

**"Hanyou?"** her voice breaks his sentence.

His eyes lock with her.

**"Please…"** he mutters quietly. " **I need to tell you- I need to be honest with you- I don't want you to hate me, I just, I can't lie to you- I care about you too much, I just…. Care about you differently then I did before…"**

He looked at her stoic face, he couldn't tell what she was thinking, and he hated it. Even her heart had mellowed out- giving no hint of turmoil...if any-that she was experiencing.

_What is this! WHAT! What do I do?! I don't want to be here… I… what do I…_

She closed her eyes and without looking at him breaks the silence.

**"I'll listen."**

She turns away from him- not wanting to show her face to him- thoughts screaming at her to ignore this and go back- away from this weird situation- away to think...to NOT deal with what she knew was coming.

 **"I'm going to be honest with you"** he continued.

_Honest….so has he been lying to me since I returned?_

**"Her name is Sinha- she's a fox demon-well half- and her mother is Kaya and they are the ones who helped me out of a very dark place when you left."**

Sangos' words filled her head…

_"Kagome, I wasn't the one who helped him._

_…..Look- Inuyasha basically left the village up until you came back. He would check in and stay a few days at a time, but you know I was never the one he talked to….._

_Honestly- I never got around to finding out what he was up to…."_

Her chest tightened at the memory her heart giving a painful thud in her chest, she took a breath- trying to remain steady.

 **"You stayed with them while I was gone right?"** her voice interrupting him.

Surprise filled his face.. **"How did you-"**

**"Sango."** was her short response.

He looked at her- stiff and un-moving, he could feel the tension in her energy, a hand running through his hair as he took a breath.

**"Makes sense- I didn't want you to find out without me telling you…"**

_Probably why you were eavesdropping too.._ the bitter thought invaded faster than she intended.

**"There is so much to this- and I don't want to be immature and not tell you my real feelings, I just don't know how to explain it. How to explain the realization of what she means to me."**

_Ouch- just gonna act like that doesn't hurt, just gonna ignore this…_ her eyes clenched shut, stinging from unshed tears.

**"I suck with words, but I care about you- I want to be friends still- if you can ever forgive me- I didn't mean for any of this to happen- I can't put you second anymore- I did it with Kikyo and now with her… I can't do that to her either, you both….. you both deserve so much."**

His voice cracked as the words spilled from his mouth and the sudden pain and anger that was boiling up inside Kagome hit a brick wall.

He was truly upset by what he was saying, she realized.

She turned abruptly towards him, seeing the sadness and guilt resonating from him.

She wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be okay…

_But he doesn't love you…._ the bitter thought roared in her mind.

She closed her eyes attempting to silence the anger inside.

 **"Inuaysha-"** His ears perked up.

**"Inuyasha- it's okay."** she finally whispered.

Hesitation splayed across his face.

**"Sometimes- where we think we will end up- isn't where we end up. It's okay."**

_NO IT'S NOT!_ Her inner voice screams.

**"Even though I traveled through time- I can't travel back in time and change anything. Your feelings are real, and your heart is telling you something important."**

_Yea like crush mine- crush it until there's nothing left!_

**"Inuyasha- you should listen to what it is telling you- if it's telling you I'm not the one for you- listen to it."**

_Listen to your own heart Kagome- can you hear it? It's being crushed! Quit being so understanding!_

**"I think you decided already that you want to be with….her"** she faltered, wincing as she realized she can't even say her name.

The confusion he feels at her words kindles inside of him.

_How can she be so calm?_ He had expected her to cry- had prepared for it in fact. He hadn't prepared for this, for her to be so understanding, for her to be… to be his friend.

**"I do need some time- to process this part. I don't regret my decision to be here- you know I have more of a life here then I did in the future. But I'll need some time to think over it all."**

_Think about how you're not enough- to Kikyo- to her- never enough. Only good enough to be a FRIEND. Gods Kagome, you're so soft!_ Her inner thoughts provoking the fire inside.

**"I'd even like to meet her one day- I mean not right now and I'm not sure when- to be honest, but I'll make sure you know when I'm ready."**

She paused.

**"I'd rather have you as a friend then not at all- I….I love you… Inuyasha"** Her voice began to break, and she couldn't prevent the tears forming down her face.

She forced a smile to her lips.. **"I will be ok."**

_Your such a liar…. You're not okay and you know it…. I don't want to lose him. I love him..._

Her heart thuds against her chest as the words are thoughtfully weaved together- purposefully creating a path for him to leave.

Each heartbeat feels like walking on glass, shattering pain through her limbs.

He can hear her heart beating and he reaches for her- instinctively wanting to comfort her.

She shoots a hand up- stilling his movement.

**"Please- I don't think it's wise if you hug me right now."**

He stills- nodding in understanding.

 **"I need some time- and I don't know where she is, or why she isn't here….. but… it seems like you need to go explain some things to her as well."** she continued.

_He's going to go to her- he's not even going to hesitate!_

Their eyes meet as he nods his head- a silent agreement.

**"Miroku knows where I will be- Kagome….. I-"** he stops, not sure what to say.

She just looks at him.

 **"It's okay."** she responds.

_It's NOT OKAY! STOP SAYING THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION IS OKAY!_

Inuyasha picked her up swiftly-

She jerked at the sudden change- not expecting to be in his arms, before her mind can understand- they are back at Kaede's.

_Ah…. Of course… can't have the human wander off…_ she tormented herself.

He placed her on the ground.

 **"I'm going to leave- whenever you're ready- Miroku can bring you to me."** he spoke softly.

He turned away- glancing at the moon- before heading west.

_He didn't even hesitate._ The thought repeated in her mind.

Tears stung the back of her eyes.

Pain shot through her hands and she balled them into fists.

_So this is what it feels like to be rejected…._

She felt like she was going to scream, like she wanted to cry, but she also...felt numb.

She watched until she could no longer see him, and she continued to look over the direction he left.

Tears quietly fell from her eyes.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there- no longer feeling anything- she saw the darkness lightening.

Dawn was approaching.

She sighed- exhaustion seeping into her- she turned and went inside- crawling into her soft-firm bed.

_Let's just not think anymore- no more thinking….no thoughts, just sleep- no thoughts, just sleep…._

_But..._

She felt her heart ache at the word and she curled in on herself- clenching her jaw shut fighting back the emotions.

_no thoughts, just sleep- no thoughts, just sleep_

Feigning sleep until at some point, she wasn't faking anymore.

Welcoming the deep- thoughtless sleep- that would save her from reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Sooooo can anyone relate? :( Poor Kagome. Don't worry though- she is a strong woman- we have a way to go- but she will end up with her happily ever after….
> 
> -KKB


	8. Thoughts in the Hot Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagome sifts through her thoughts as she escapes the eyes of her friends to the nearby Hot Springs. She really needs this time Alone. But it turns out she has a guard on stand by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:
> 
> I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.
> 
> My OC's are Sinha and Kaya.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter, just turmoil. :p
> 
> -KKB

Rins voice wafts through the air- as Kagome finally feels the last remnants of sleep leave her eyes.

Feeling the presence of the day- Kagome quietly sits up and looks around.   
_Did….was it a dream...did we…. Is he….._ Memories of hours before played in her head.

Her heart began to race and she desperately tried to keep her mind clear, physically shaking the thoughts from her mind.   
She stood and realized she had never removed her top layer kimono. Thankful she would not have to dress again- she grabbed her bow and arrow before lightly stepping out to join the others.

**"Good Afternoon Kagome!"** Rin greeted her excitedly.   
**"You must have been tired! Oh! You've got your bow- are you heading out so quickly? Do you need any help?"** Her continuous questions were met with silence as Kagome's mouth didn't have the strength to form words.

_Come on Kagome- you can do it, we just need some time to ourselves. Just say something._

She had never missed the privacy of her old room more than now. She gulped and smiled largely at Rin.   
**"Ah yes- super tired haha- um I am actually just going to the sacred tree- I want to check on something. I've got my bow and Inuyasha is somewhere so he will more than likely follow. So no need to change your plans for me haha."**

Kaede glanced over at her- a curious gaze hidden from Rin.   
She quickly excused herself and turned towards the door. **"Kagome…"** Kaede's voice rang out.

She paused just outside the door as she heard Kaede rise. A bit of shuffling and Kaede was joining her outside. **"Do you mind if I walk with ye for a moment?"** she asked.   
Kagome nodded an approval and the pair began to walk. Shortly into their walk Kaede spoke. **"Inuyasha is not here. So I wonder why he did not tell ye of his departure."**   
Her words startling Kagome.

_Of course she knows he is not here! She's probably been all over this morning- she knows he left the village…_

Her steps remained steady as Kaede continued. **"I assume ye knew he was gone, and if that is the case, I am unsure of why ye are going off on your own. I only hope ye are careful, and return to us if you feel any trouble arise."** She turned to look at Kagome.

Suddenly Kagome could really see that Kaede was older- and with that age came knowledge of many things. She nodded. **"I will."** she whispered.   
Energy leaving her at the realization she didn't have to hide this from Kaede.

_One less person to pretend for…_

Kaede bowed and turned to leave.   
Turning away- she continued to walk.   
East- away from the direction she knew he went. Needing to be further away from things. Needing to distance herself. She did her best to keep her mind clear as she walked. Dense woods weaving a path before her. Opening up to a small swimming hole fed by a waterfall. Knowing this area well enough- the group frequented here a lot to enjoy the hot springs up near the base of the falls.   
She walked to the edge of the stream- placing her bow down before taking a seat.

As she bent forward, she noticed her reflection in the steady water. Her face seemed normal, she peered longer- searching for any sign of change, anything to show the significance of what she was going through. Turning her face, she couldn't find a single thing to represent her turmoil.

_Is that normal? Is it really that normal?_

Turning her attention to her surroundings, her memories flooded with previous adventures to the springs- Shippo bathing with her and Sango- while Miroku and Inuyasha kept watch. Protecting them.

_Now he protects her I guess._

Her temperament thoughts hammer at her. Shards of pain rear up as she clenches out of surprise- a spurt of sound flying from her mouth.

_What the hell.. what is this…. Is this a heart attack?_

Her brain tries to make sense of the sudden pain rocking her skin.   
Shivering she pauses- hearing his voice in her head.. **_"I'm going to be honest with you"_**

She closed her eyes to block out the invading thoughts.

_No- I don't want to think about this!_

Her mind pulled a deep memory.   
From the beginning... **_"I want you to be happy. I want you to laugh a lot. I don't know what exactly I'll be able to do for you, but I'll always be by your side."_ **

Tears stung- threatening to break at the memory of her initial promise to him as the most recent flashed to fill its place. **_"Sometimes- where we think we will end up- isn't where we end up. It's okay."_ **

_Why! Why am I torturing myself with this!_

So much had changed between the two moments she shared with Inuyasha.   
The first- was the beginning of their relationship- a relationship that formed into an bond believed to be unbreakable… Facing troubles of time travel- his demon nature- an ex lover- and of course… Naraku.   
The second….the second….just had her counting every second. Feeling a deep cut to her heart, a betrayal, anger, sadness, hurt, jealousy...hurt…. She bowed her head and let herself cry.   
Going over their conversation from the night before...over…. and over…. **_"I have to only want you…."_   
**How…. How can she have spent the time away- missing him and her friends so much- thinking of them every day- wishing for a second chance to come back- to spend her days with him. **THEM** … not just him…. She corrected herself.

**"I am here because I chose to come back for everyone I love."** she grit out to herself.   
Sitting back she peered at the scenery before her. **_"I have to only want you….but"_ **

But…. But….but… **.BUT** ….

**"But you are not good enough Kagome"** she spoke to herself. **"You want to be HONEST Inuyasha!"** she screamed.   
**"You have to only want me- the same way I only wanted YOU!"** she stood up as her anger built up inside her.   
**"I was never enough! I am not good enough! I was never enough when you chose Kikyo!"** Guilt briefly washed over her as she thought back to the departed priestess. It was quickly washed away with the anger coursing through her.   
" **How could you! How could you think of someone else, give yourself to someone else, WHAT did she have that I don't!"** Everything she should have said before spilling out as her angry tears fell down her face.   
**"But you get to be happy now- because I still care about you! I LET YOU! I let you-"** her voice clipped as a sob broke from her chest.   
**"I let you go- I made it possible for you to be happy! I chose for you…. I chose….to hurt...I chose this! It's my fault… my fault for being a good…. Friend."** The word struck clarity into the moment.

She wrapped arms around herself as the sun warmed her back. Her mind falling silent. A numbing sense of clarity washing through her.

_Yes, I chose this. I shouldn't put the burden on anyone but myself…. I chose….like he never did._

Thinking back on their tumultuous relationship….

_He never chose me- never committed. Never openly chose me...the signs were there...with Kikyo...the Jewel...he even wanted to be full demon after I shared my feelings for him. Her anger briefly fell on Kikyo and the jewel. If that damned jewel had never..._

_NO. Stop-_ she shook her head.   
_If the jewel never happened, if Naraku never happened, I wouldn't have had this adventure at all- I would never have Sango- Shippo- powers, a purpose…_ She felt gross- physically and emotionally.   
Full of salty tears- Full of the ugly emotions running through her, voice hoarse from yelling….

_What am I going to do now…_ she thought to herself.   
Her arms fell limply to her side, her Hakama crumpled and dirty.   
_I can't go back looking like this…._

She turned towards the hot springs ahead.   
Walking the few yards to the base of the rocky structures, she closed her eyes- opening up herself to feel for demonic aura- human aura- any in the area. Before disrobing to clean herself. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized she wasn't alone.   
A powerful demon was nearby. She shuddered- realizing she was alone- and they were not far at all. Probably within hearing range for a demon. Which means they had heard her outburst. A frown crossed her brows as her heart beat increased.   
Weighing the options before her, she decided it would be safe enough to indulge. She was far past the point of caring about it too much and she really REALLY hated feeling gross.

_Another thing I miss from the future... more like another thing I gave up fo-_ She cut off her train of thought- physically shaking the negative thoughts from her body.

Stripping her top layer - leaving the thin white cloth to bath in per which was the norm for this era, she tied up her hair and stepped into the hot spring.   
Her muscles instantly relaxed, her tense body melting in the warm waters.

_Ahhh this is the best!_ she happily thought. Surprised at how quickly a bath could change her mood.

**"Oh Kagome...what are we gonna do?"** she spoke to herself. As time passed she watched the sun creep towards the west as the day wore on.   
Watching nature in it's natural setting- birds and deer and smaller animals making their way around- searching for food or water.   
For a while she was at peace. Not thinking about anything in particular. Well nothing related to her current situation.

She thought about her mother, and how much she needed her advice. Thought about her brother Souta and his happy smile. To shippo and the twins.   
And then, she started thinking about her future. Will I ever have a family of my own? the thought struck at her heart, bringing back the hurt and something...new.

Fear.

Fear of the future that was now an unknown to her. Before- she knew her place would be with Inuyasha..but now... what did her future hold? What path would she take?

_I can always use my miko powers to make a living, but... would there be anyone else who would be interested in me?_ Her face contorted at the thought of any human male here in the feudal era being interested in her.

None of them could compare to the strength and loyalty of Inuyasha.

_HA! WHAT LOYALTY!_ her snarky thoughts beat through.   
_If that is what you consider loyal, then girl- you need to raise your standards..._

She sighed. **"Well, I need to get out. Gotta let the sun do the drying I guess."**

_Ah you didn't even bring a towel huh..._

She stood and removed herself from the warm waters- which hadn't changed in temperature at all since she got in.   
Somehow the warm afternoon air felt cool to her now. Stretching her muscles she closed her eyes, feeling for that aura again. There is was. The same distance away- unmoving.   
Though- the more she concentrated on it- a hint of familiarity pricked the back of her mind. Shrugging her shoulders she laid back in the grass.   
Content that there was only one demon nearby. Instinctively she drew her bow and arrow close to her and laid back- closing her eyes to the sharp rays of the sun.

The cool air beginning to warm up as her body adjusted- the sun beginning to dry her thin robe. She continued to fight her bitter thoughts for happy ones, as her body warmed under the sun.   
A soft buzz filling the afternoon air... her thoughts going quiet as she zoned out. Suddenly- she opened her eyes to cooling air, as the moon was rising.

_SHIT!_

Her single thought encompassed her blurry surroundings.   
Doing her best to clear her eyes of sleep she chided herself for falling asleep without anyone nearby to watch out for her.

_THIS is NOT Tokyo! You are gonna get yourself killed!_ she berated herself.   
She dressed quickly- relieved at the added warmth her priestess robes.   
Grabbing her bow and arrow she paused- and calmed herself, opening up to her surroundings- to make sure all was well.

_Wait...still?!_

She couldn't believe what she was feeling. The same energy from before, the same distance away. Close...

**"HEY! I know you're out there! Why have you been watching me so long you pervert!"** she called into the trees, docking an arrow into her bow.

She prepared to fire. Straining her ears to listen for any sound. Wishing she could see what hid in the shadows.   
Internally cursing her stupidity to not check this out during the day time.

_What were you thinking!_ she kept repeating to herself.

Then she heard it. A rough voice chuckling from the trees. **"Ah...Kagome... I thought it was too good to be true."**

Her ears perked up at the voice. **"And yet- the Kami granted my wish."**

She peered into the dark, taking in a breath at the realization of who the voice belonged to. It can't be! A flash of blue eyes filled her head- eyes filled with hunger every time they looked at her.

A tall form broke from the shadows, muscular legs leading to a fur pelt- a tail flicking behind him.   
She trailed along his chest armor- to his wolfish grin- a fang peeking out of his smile. She focused on his eyes.   
Even in the dark, she could tell they were filled with a hunger- as well as something else... was that relief?

**"Kouga."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Ah finally he makes his grand entrance! Such grace- such poise! Ah I have been up too long writing this. See you next Chapter!
> 
> -KKB


End file.
